Denial
by I'm known as Xana
Summary: First attempt at a fanfic. AU. Near always knew there was a chance of L joining Kira. He just wished for once he was wrong.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, I am merely a fan.  
>Warning: Character death.<strong>

**AN: This is my first attempt at writing, so I apologize if the characters are OOC and any other errors there may be.**

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><p>"What is the probability of L joining Kira?" That's what you had asked when we found L had decided to take the 'Kira' Case.<p>

"Three percent," I lied. _'It is more like forty-nine percent_.' I, however; could not tell you that though. It would most likely crush you. So I kept my doubts about this to myself….

"L showed his face to Kira!" you said one day, interrupting me, destroying my dice tower in the process. Though I was annoyed at its destruction, I could still hear the worry that laced in your voice. It killed me to see you so scared.

"He knows what he is doing." I lie again. To be honest, L exposing himself was proof enough that he was getting desperate. Whether or not you believed me or not, you didn't say. All you did was nod and smile. It broke my heart to hear you cry that night. Don't worry though, I won't tell anyone. _'Fifty- percent….'_

"L handcuffed himself to Kira!" you growl one evening, snatching my toy robot and throwing it at a nearby wall. I didn't pay it any mind and looked at you. You had a look that was a mixture of fear and paranoia. You always allowed people to read your emotions so easily.

"He's waiting for Kira to slip up." I mutter in response, trying to convince myself as well as you. To be truthfully honest, I had no idea what L was doing. Maybe for once it wasn't a lie. Something told me that was untrue. _'Sixty-four percent….'_

"HE'S DEAD!?" You screamed at Rodger that day. I was quiet for once, my puzzle abandoned. I was in complete shock, what was I supposed to say? I couldn't believe that L had allowed himself to get killed so easily…. _'Seventy-nine percent….'_

So much had happened after that, far too much in such a short period of time span for my liking. L was dead, or at least I hope he was dead. I don't know how I could respond if he had actually joined Kira. I don't think I would be able to defeat him_. 'Ninety-six percent…'_ Linda had blown up the orphanage after she returned from Japan, where she got the explosives I would never find out. Her stunt managed to kill a majority of the children there. She had not done that willingly. I had noticed her personality change from when she left to when she returned. That meant only one thing: she ran into Kira and Kira knew her. That was impossible unless he had inside information…like L has. _'Ninety-seven percent….'_

Kira then killed off most of the SPK agents mere days after we had gotten together. Worse, he addressed me by name-my real name- and knew about my hair-twirling habit. L had known about that. _'Ninety-Eight percent…'_ Kira also seemed to act as if he had two personalities. Though it could've been a case of MPD, I highly doubted this was the case. He sometimes acted normally, and other times he acted too much like L. In fact the act was dead-on, it was too much of a coincidence. _'Ninety-Nine percent….'_

Now here he is, obviously alive, and holding the Death Note, writing down the names of the names of the remaining SPK members. He is crouching next to Kira, you and Matt are a little ways behind the two. He doesn't seem to notice as the SPK agents collapse. Instead, he's now staring with dark-grey eyes at me, interested. I realize suddenly that I'm going to be killed by the very person who was supposed to protect me. '**N**'

"Near," you say. '**A**'. I look up at you, your steel-blue eyes shining. I feel my hand go up to my head and my finger start twirling a strand of hair. _'Why….?_'

"Y-yes Mello?" My voice cracks, causing you to smirk. '**T**'. _'I don't want to die…._'

"What did you say the probability of L joining Kira was?" 'Are you really this indifferent about this Mello?' '**E**'.

"Th-three percent." I managed to say quietly. Kira, who was quiet up to this point, snorted with amusement. _'I thought we were….friends Mello? Please stop him!_' '**R**'.

"The truth Near!" You snarled. _'You always knew when I would lie…_' '**I**'.

"Forty-Nine percent." '**V**'. _'I really don't want to die!_'

"Near, you should know that lying is wrong. Though not illegal, it is very rude." L finally says in his monotone voice. _'YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP KIRA! NOT JOIN HIM!_' my mind screams. '**E**'.

"….." I don't say anything. 'R'. L lowers the Death Note and stares at me. '_I don't want to die_…_._'

The pain starts as a dull roar at first. Slowly but surely, it starts to intensify, it's not long before it's nearly unbearable. I feel my shaking hands slowly make their way to my head, clutching it. My head is pounding; it feels like its ripping in half. 'I-I'm dying.' It's killing me to think. I manage-somehow to lift my head, not realizing I had collapsed, just enough to face you guys.

Kira has a wide, maniacal grin on his face. His whole body is shaking as he tries to contain his laugh. _'Y-you m-monster._' Matt, he's standing next to you with a look of indifference, but I can see a small frown on his face. Our eyes lock and he just shrugs before returning his attention to his video game console that was in his hands.

A fresh wave of pain starts coursing through my head as I look at you. You were just smirking mouthing to me _'you lose'_. Was that all you cared about? Winning? I finally cry out as the pain once again intensifies. _'I-I'm going t-to die so-soon_.' I will welcome death with open arms.

With the last of my strength, look at L. The ex-detective, my idol, is watching me with great interest. He also looked like a child on Christmas morning, which was staring at the presents under the tree. He was enjoying watching me wither away slowing, and die. I briefly watched as a ghost of a smile played on his face. He had turned into a true monster. **_'One-Hundred percent….._**'

As darkness started to fill my already blurry vision, the sound of footsteps echoed through my head. I watched, my blurry vision losing focus, as Kira crouched next to me. My mind slowly started to fade & the darkness took over, but I was still able to hear two last words:

"**_I win_**."

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><p><strong>AN: Thank-you for reading. This is my first story that has been published so once again I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors. Also, I will accept any constructive criticism, no flames however. <strong>


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